Have you ever found yourself wondering where in the world did God go? Why did I find myself in this intense visitation only to now find myself groping in the darkness, trying to find an ounce of light to cling to? What in the world happened? Did I do something wrong? Why isn’t God speaking now when He was just showing me so much? These are all valid questions that go through every believers mind at some time or another, even those who are closest to God experience these uncertain seasons. This is the very place that takes the believer from an ordinary life, to an intense walk of faith.

From my own personal experience, while i’m in a season of encounter with God, the plans of heaven cause my spirit to cry out with tremendous joy and utter satisfaction and life just couldn’t get any better than this; being in the safe place of Gods Presence, hearing the wonderful thoughts He has in His heart for me and the incredible future He speaks to my heart. What bliss, just to know that God has something planned for me that is for my benefit and for His Glory. It’s quite undeniable when ones been visited with this type of transforming season. The Presence of God quenches every thirst and you feel as if nothing could bring you down, there’s nothings bigger than your God in these moments and nothing compares to or satisfies like the sweet Presence of Jesus you have been experiencing. Wow, what a grateful heart I have. My Father loves me so much that when I take time and spend it with Him, seeking Him, loving on Him; He comes within those special moments and transform who I am. I want to abide there, dwell there and never, ever have to leave that place of His Presence. His light shines so intensely that it caused every dark place in my life to become light before me, my enemies scatter for a season when I’m in these most blessed times of visitation in Gods Presence.

During these times, nothing seems too heavy to bear or so difficult that this awesome God I serve can’t fix it, after all He is Jehovah. Believing what He speaks is effortless, as the inner man is in full agreement with all that He is whispering to my heart. He says that His word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path and I believe that Jesus is the word and therefore when He speaks to me, things are getting brighter before me. In this season when the Holy Spirit is moving upon me and I’m hearing this wonderful word that is bringing me life, I feel like an un-defeatable worshiper. God is on my side and this thing called life is going to be glorious. I come out of this wonderful season feeling refreshed, strengthened and in all ways encouraged that life is not hopeless and there is a brighter future than what I currently see.

One of the things I am assured of by the word of God is that when you’re pushing toward God, He is pushing towards you. He loves us so much and enjoys our times of fellowship as much as we do. He loves us sitting at His feet or crying on His shoulder as we pour our hearts out and lay our burdens down. This is true faith that pleases God and it’s seen by the desperation of those who need Him to live and exist. He stands proud as we dedicate out lives to His Kingdom and honor Him with our bodies. He couldn’t be more pleased, by these acts of faith. He encourages us to never stop praying, to always press into His Kingdom, knocking and asking all the way. His reward is wonderful outpourings of the Holy Spirit, intimate moments of refreshing with the King of Kings, where secrets are whispered from His heart to yours and He reveals the promises He has for your life. Who wouldn’t serve such a wonderful savior? I come out of my prayer room, having had one of these precious moments I long for and delight in, thinking to myself, it just doesn’t get any better than this and I couldn’t love Jesus any more than I love Him right now. He is my entire joy and my hearts desire, times like these are priceless to a worshipping heart.

A day goes by after this wonderful time with the Father and I feel as if I have a hold of the devils tail, my spirit is soaring, and nothing can take away my joy, my hope or my promises. Then after a while something happens and my world is suddenly occupied with some sort of trouble, trial, or test and I find myself thinking, no way, where is GOD? Suddenly after being on the mountain with the Lord, I’m wondering where my helper is. Although I don’t feel abandoned because He’s always with me, my promises on the other hand, seem like utter impossibilities. What the Lord just told me is falling apart, crumbling before my very eyes, going south as some would put it. Did I hear you Lord? Was that really your Spirit that visited me in those sweet moments of worship and fellowship, of course it had to be, your word says when I ask for bread you’ll never give me a stone, when I ask for an egg, you’ll never give me a scorpion, so when I ask you for the Holy Spirit you’ll give me the Holy Spirit.

Satan suddenly begins his quandary of questions he throws at the human mind. My life has now darkened, the word you gave me has somehow slipped from me as I gaze on this devastation and disappointment has found a place in me, now I’m sad and feel bereaved of what you’ve promised. Satan moves in to strengthen my fears by creating many more thoughts of doubt; attracting every dark spirit from hell to harass the very validity of the voice of God in my life. I feel the foundation of my life shaking as tornado winds tear through my thoughts, my circumstances and my heart; screaming convincingly louder and louder with each passing moment in this valley of death; Hath God said?, Hath God said? He bellows and belches from the mouth of hell itself, challenging me, testing me to see if I will question or worse, deny this God I’ve loved and served and if He really knows me. I’m feeling as if Jesus, whom I love, didn’t show up when I needed Him the most, He left me helpless and undone. This is how Mary felt when Jesus allowed Lazarus to die, for the specific purpose of revealing the Glory of the Lord to her.. He said to Mary, ” Did I not say to you that if you would believe, you would see the Glory of the Lord? ‘ He is still asking us this today.

Then when I’m at, what I feel, is the weakest point in my entire life, I’m in despair, yet all the while fighting inside myself; crying out to my God for help, for light, for His life, something inside of me rises up, something deep inside is crying out as I pray in the Spirit and I hear His sweet voice say to me, ” Don’t give up, don’t let go, God i
s faithful, He won’t forget His promise to you” and peace once again fills my heart and I feel the strength of the Lord rising within me. Today, I’ve fought against this enemy of doubt that wages war against the very words you speak Lord, and today, you’ve caused me to overcome. I can once again believe for what I do not yet see. It’s only Jesus that gives me life and helps me to overcome my enemies; which are many in this world; we must hold onto Him. Through this battle I’ve learned that I can’t be passive nor can I let my guard down when I’ve been in the Presence of God and He’s revealed His dreams for me. I need to always be alert and guard my mind with His word, realizing that all promises come with a test and a fight but through it all, even when I’m weak, when I cry out to Him, He will sustain me and now today, I can say thank you Lord, take a deep breath, pause and look ahead with my eye on the prize of His promises.

Be encouraged Saints if you’ve found yourself in some of these same battles, the Father will always allow our faith to be tested so that we learn to grow and trust Him. He will always provide strength to make it to your promise land. He knows our weakness and struggles and uses this time of testing to teach us how to reign in this life with Jesus. He will bring you through every storm, test, trial and tribulation into a place of victory, if you can just keep your eyes on Him and don’t let the enemy take your heart away. Let your faith be found by God to be genuine which is to Him, more precious than anything else. The Glory of God is a blessing but it doesn’t exempt us from trials, it attracts them, for the purpose of causing us to grow up into Christ, who is the head of the Church…

Pamela Halstead
Midnight Oil Ministries